Oh, crap.

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Humor’s always good.

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Got this one here, since it’s realistic right?!

You know what feels good?

When God exposes another area of your heart where you’ve been judgmental before!

It’s a lot of fun.

…It freakin sucks. Usually it sucks because you’ve finally gotten yourself into a position of the very “type” of person you’ve been judging. You realize, “Wow, I’m just like them. I’m actually not ANY different. Even I’m capable of the same mistakes and problems.”  (I never thought I’d try drugs in my life, fight an eating disorder, or go through many other things.)

It sucks because you wanted to be perfect, flawless, righteous. (I tend to want that anyway…) Yet here you are, fallen short, and in need of grace.

It feels good because now your heart can be purer, although you emotionally feel much worse. It feels good because you can relate instead of look down. It feels good because now you can be at least a smidgen more Christ-like.

It’s beautiful because it’s redemptive.

At first, it’s “oh, crap.” But then it’s “oh, good.”

That Redeemer though… He’s in business for the real good.

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It’s all in your head

You are you. With all your +’s and -‘s. Lots of times you forget your +’s and can only see your -‘s. You have problems and you want solutions. At times, all you can do is hope. You believe that one day if you…

…Lose those last 13 lbs, or gain that much more in muscle, you’ll be perfectly satisfied with your body.

…Change or mask that one facial feature, you’ll feel pretty darn good about your face.

…Have children, you’ll be motivated enough to quit smoking/drinking/using drugs.

…Find the perfect partner, you’ll become confident in who you are.

…Find the perfect job, you’ll never complain about your boss again.

…Travel the world, you won’t have to deal with where you are in life now.

…Preach to any & everyone, you’ll be more “aware” of your salvation. “Holiness,” even.

…Finish school, you will feel more accomplished. You’ll finally be successful.

…Are promoted in any group or organization, you’ll receive respect.

This list can go on and on. You know which ones you would add.

(What would they be anyway?)

It’s the whole “grass is greener on the other side” syndrome. It’s easy to believe that once a particular circumstance changes in your life, you’ll finally be satisfied. As if happiness lies outside yourself. As if. You can’t run away from your demons. When your outside environment changes, your inner environment is not guaranteed to change.  I don’t know how to put it prettier than that. I don’t always speak pretty, but I can at least speak the truth. 

In my little life I’ve experienced this syndrome plenty. I still find myself thinking in these terms. By doing so, I can expect to fail. Because no one and nothing can fill a void. No one can change our mentality for us, or our outlook on the situations in our lives. Having a boyfriend who likes my body, doesn’t actually change my opinion of it. Getting married one day won’t rid me of my struggles. Finishing school and getting an ideal job won’t lead me to see myself as successful. Getting older won’t make me necessarily more confident. When I was a kid I thought, “By the time I’ll be 17, I’ll be beautiful, confident, and perfect.” I couldn’t wait to be 17. You can imagine, I was a little disappointed.

Yet… I can be those things today! I can learn to see my beauty, practice confidence, and admire God’s perfection in me. I can have a healthy perspective on my struggles. I can strive to do my best with what I’ve been dealt in life. I can learn to like and accept my body. I can learn to love me.

 

If you’re seeking joy, confidence, security, peace, freedom, etc. I can only say 2 things:

  1. You’ll find it in Christ. But what does that even mean? ( Trust me, I hate unexplained Christian cliches too.) Meaning: You’ll find it in yourself, considering He lives within.
  2. You’ll find it inside your own head by changing your thoughts.

A renewed mind.

Same difference.