(I recently read a very informative blog post & thought I’d share!)
I remember being in Africa when the word “boundaries” was first brought up to me. I had never been taught by my parents, or the religious organization I belonged to, that boundaries were okay, or more than that- necessary. I thought you always give grown ups their way, you say yes to everything your parents say (even when it can be harmful), and you don’t question your authorities.
Boundaries seemed to be taboo.
Over a period of months, the concept slowly began sinking in. I clearly remember defining boundaries with my mother last year in order to start recovering from an eating disorder.
A year later, and with life looking way different, I’m once again reminded of how important my boundaries with her all. Not just with her, with everyone. It’s easy to allow the words and opinions of others to push us around. But which one of us wants to let another run the life WE’RE given?
You, just like me, have your own life to live. Good choices, bad, they’re all yours. Sometimes, it’s the lack of boundaries that hold you back from living your life as you’d actually like. Boundaries sound a little heavy, like restraints, but in reality, they lead you to a life of more and more freedom. Ah, we love freedom.
You don’t hold my power.
“Change! Your car is not new enough. Your clothes are not in. Your appearance is not up to par. You are not kind enough. You are not brave enough. You are too tall. You are too small. You are too flabby. You are too chunky. Change. You’re not enough. Period. I am done!”
That’s the world. That’s people. That’s our society if we don’t reverse it all. The Power-Handoff starts in elementary. You get picked on in Jr High, welcome to High School- you still don’t measure up. Your hair’s not tall enough, hail Utah. Tragically, this can start even before elementary, in the homes of the most Normal Decent Folks. These experiences shape you. Or, maybe they don’t.
The Elders of Old at times still conform, to the trend of giving power away. “Your handkerchief isn’t clean enough, sir.” (Ok, I’m kidding on that one. I hope it’s clean.) Back to the thought now…
Some Sad Folks spend their entire lives giving power away to measure up to the standards of the Relentless Perfect Ones. The race is in vain. There’s nothing in the end, literally nothing left of themselves.
You get to choose, as do I. Will you do you? Or will you attempt to change after one muttered word? After a cruel comment? After a passive joke?
I don’t want to anymore. This game is old and I like new tricks.